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I just want one day without crying ๐ญ
As soon as I walked through my front door, the tears came. It’s this overwhelming feeling of isolation. Of being totally alone and knowing its all my fault. I didn’t ask to be different. To be treated differently than everyone else. I’m nearly 37 and all I do is cry. Every damn day. I am…
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Day 340: 14th December 2022 | Turns out reading the study guide before attempting to study helps ๐
I have been making my life harder than it needs to be for the majority of it; it does appear ๐ Last night, I decided to start reading the study guide for week 4, which is what I am up to, and it changed everything!! ๐ค Actually, knowing what it is I am trying to…
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Day 339: 13th December 2022 | I’m starting to see where somethings I say don’t make sense ๐
Well, at least that’s what I think I’m trying to say, lol It makes no sense that I feel comfortable uploading videos like yesterday, which I have now watched twice, yet, I feel like I can never ever see the people from Sunday again, even though they were all nice to me … Andrew helped…
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My flat tyre has now been fixed ๐
Thankfully, my neighbour and friend, Andrew, came to the rescue and was able to change the tyre for me. I am very glad we had already discussed and looked at the spare tyre prior to actually getting the flat, so the spare is perfect. It might even be better to get a cheaper second hand…
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It’s just hit 8 pm and I’m ready to go to sleep ๐ด
Even though I ended up sleeping until 1 pm. Even though today has been spent in bed, I am still in so much pain. Though that may have something to do with not taking anything stronger than Nurofen. I have no intention whatsoever of getting hooked on any of my medication. But unfortunately I do…
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The Most Hated Man in the Internet on Netflix is making me feel feel completely comfortable with what I post online ๐ฅฐ
I watched my video back earlier. I don’t always watch the same day but decided I would. But since my stuff is literally just me being me to my camera in any given moment, I know that nothing will stop me from documenting my life. I will chose this, having a place to come to…
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Day 338: 12th December 2022 | I am so emotionally drained ๐ฅ
Content Warning | I am highly emotionally dysregulated in this video. Please be advised before watching… And just feel so humiliated after yesterday that I am glad I never officially joined because I would be far too embarrassed to ever go after yesterday. I should know better by now. I am so easily triggered these…
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Day 337: 11th December 2022 | I was so proud of how well I was handling everything today …
Until emotional dysregulation got to me, and won in the end. Once again, I looked like a complete and utter loser ๐ I can definitely now see why I have basically no friends. Thankfully, with how everything went today and what happened, I feel disgusted with myself to the point where any part of me…
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It’s only 6:17 pm and I’m already in bed and ready to sleep ๐ด
I have a ten minute video uploading. Once it’s finished I will copy to my website and then I’m putting my phone away. I have Boss with me. Warm lavender scented slot teddy in my sore tummy, and my eyes are ready to close. I’ve cried quite a lot today, and now my pain is…
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Today has gone wrong in every possible way ๐ฅบ
I managed to pull through it and actually attend the social event after hours of shit going wrong starting with my car having a flat tyre. I just wish I had seen it before trying to drive. Maybe if I had been still in my driveway, at home, things would have gone differently. Who knows?…