Dear Diary,

I’m so so so happy and grateful right now!!!!

Once again the Universe has provided exactly what I need at the most perfect time.

Than again everything happens in Divine Timing, so of course it has ♡

As you know, I have been longing for a bath for so long now and had planned to look for a hotel at our final destination that has one. Though had no idea if I’d find one.

So imagine my surprise and pure happiness when I came into the communal bathroom where we had booked to stay last night and saw a full size nice and deep bath!!

It was way to late to have one at the time but since we’re the only people here with the owner, who is such a sweetheart, little old man who walks with a cane himself, he said there’s no check out time and we can stay as long as we like before leaving!

Isn’t that incredible!! I am truly divinely looked after!

I had originally set my alarm to be up by 8am but I was so tired that I honestly thought I might fall asleep in the bath which wouldn’t have been good. I ended up falling back asleep and woke again when Luke said it was time to get up. Which was approximately 8:50am.

Thankfully each part of this bathroom has it’s own section so I’ve been able to close the door, enabling others to use the shower and toilet. But like I said, it’s only me and Luke staying here anyway.

Obviously we want to get on the road much much earlier than we did yesterday. That was my bad, though Luke was really understanding, but we did end up driving the last hour and a half in the dark, so we’ll be leaving relatively early today.

Even though I didn’t get in here as early as I’d have liked, I couldn’t miss this opportunity to have a soak. Especially since I’ve woken up in even more pain today. Being in a car for so long has done that.

It feels like all the muscles in the right side of my back have been pulled and they hurt so so bad! I wonder if that also has something to do with how I’m having to walk due to my left knee and leg? Maybe, I’m not sure.

All I am sure of is that I am beyond grateful to Luke. He completely understands that I have to manage my pain first and foremost so is totally understanding about the fact that I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to have a bath.

Especially given the fact today is the last day I can have one for two weeks anyway because of my tattoo laser removal appointment tomorrow afternoon. Plus I think finding somewhere that has one in Sydney will either be really hard or really expensive which neither of us want. 

I’ve told him that I’m not going to have a long one obviously but I really do need all the help I can get to manage how severely bad my pain levels are today. Especially since we have another four hours driving ahead of us. I told Luke I was happy to do some of the driving to give him a break, but right now, in this moment,  I honestly couldn’t even if he wanted me too. Not that I think he does.

Last night I was rummaging around in the bags behind me in the dark looking for something and must have accidentally removed my phone stand when doing it since it wasn’t in my bags when we got up to the room. But by golly do I still look like I’m travelling for a month even though it’s only a few days. I like to be prepared for anything lol

Poor Luke carried everything in and up the stairs because he is barely letting me do anything after the first time we stopped for fuel and food and I forgot to get my walking stick out of the truck, thinking I’d be fine walking such a short distance, yet I was not! I damn near almost collapsed again before even making it halfway to the shop doors.

I am 100% going to have to get the email asking all the questions I need to know sent to all the orthopaedic surgeons listed in the NIB providers list in Bendigo.

Technically I already have an email ready to send in regards to just my knee, but, even though Elean said I will have to see two different orthopaedic surgeons regarding my knee and spine, I have decided that I would at least like to include both on the same email considering I have no idea what type of orthopaedic surgeons are showing up in the list, and the fact that everything is connected.

Who knows, maybe I can find someone who can help me with both. I mean to me, that makes the most sense. Especially given my that my circumstances are so bad, already having a 24/7 chronic pain condition that continues to deteriorate as I get older, adding more and more pain to the injuries itself.

I very much plan to ask if there is a clinical reason that will allow me to be transferred to an inpatient rehabilitation centre where I can do the post surgery physiotherapy. I’m honestly not sure how I’m going to manage that otherwise.

Al says that living alone would definitely make me eligible, and technically I don’t have my own place even though I’m staying with Merv. Come to think of it actually, Merv received some bad news health wise himself a few days, and is struggling with pain too. I truly do not want to be a burden to him. I already feel guilty enough as it is for all that he has been doing for me due to my inability to walk properly anymore.

So, I will be including that in the email too I’ve just realised. Talking to you diary really does help me so much. Just like when I make my videos, I learn a lot as I type or talk. Especially since I never know what I’m going to say. Everything just comes out naturally and I learn from that.

I am glad that I finally realised exactly what you are to  me. A diary. Of course that’s what you are. It just took me a few years to fully realise that. But now that I have, I feel more comfortable than ever sharing absolutely everything with you. Because that was always the point right from the get go. To share everything. All of it. The good, bad, messy, crazy and everything in between.

Because I know that I am just one little person in this great big world of ours, and that I am not the only one going through life wondering if I’m the only one experiencing whatever I’m experiencing at the time. In fact, I know I’m not, and that is why you have to be shared. To everyone. So, they know too.

You wouldn’t believe the amount of emails I receive from people regarding my videos telling me that I’m not doing anything right in regards to how far an audience they would reach if I just did a bunch of other stuff. But I don’t include hashtags or all the other things that these people list in the emails they send me for a reason. That is not the point of doing that.

I know in my heart that whoever is supposed to see my videos, read my diary entries, or just find my channel and website in general, will find it exactly as it is. This is not something to be pushed onto people. That’s one of the main reasons opened these sites and got rid of traditional social media such as Facebook and Instrgram etc in the first place. If you are meant to see this, you will. Just like everyone else who has found me so far.

Take  @Luke-jf2qd for example. One of my darker videos from when I was up in Queensland randomly showed up in his feed. He has no idea how. But he instantly related to me and the problems I was having. So he subscribed and started watching as often as he could, even though there have been times since he first found my channel that he hasn’t been able to, yet he watches whenever he can.

And from solely watching my videos and reading my posts and interacting via the comments, he decided that he wanted to come and meet me and see if I really  am who I appear to be here. And he was very happy and grateful to find out that I very much am.

Luke deciding to do this has helped me more than I could have ever imagined. I have absolutely no doubt anymore about what I’m doing. I have an actual plan on how to evolve from here. I am beyond excited! Everytime I think about it the biggest smile appears on my face.

But for now, I have been typing this for so long now that my hands are aching and I’m growing concerned that I could drop my phone in the bath. Plus, I really have to get out very soon since Luke is always waiting on me.

I’m going to ask Garry the owner here what the options for food are. Yesterday on the phone he said Sunday is the only day/night, (I’m not sure) that he doesn’t cook, so I imagine we can get something before we leave.

I also have to figure out where we are going to stay for tonight and tomorrow night.

I’ll be back later to share more ♡

10:33 AM on Monday the 5th of October 2026