I knew it. I knew it this whole time. Over a year and a half now. Boy, am I glad I finally said something. Why didn’t I earlier? Why was it not at the top of the list when I first got back, let alone only making it there at my last visit with Elean?

I’m so confused with myself right now. I guarantee I’ll end up needing surgery to fix it. I’m just praying that the tissue is okay and healthy enough to still be stitched closed, and that it doesn’t have to be removed. I’m too young. In too much pain already.

My left knee hurts this bad for a reason. The MRI results that arrived yesterday fully confirm that there is indeed something wrong with it, and adding the CT scan results makes it even clearer. Based on all the research Al helped me look into, that shooting, burning pain radiating up and down my left leg makes complete sense now. This injury isn’t new. Given how long it’s been going on, my body has naturally altered the way it does everything just to compensate.

I’ve been dealing with symptoms for well over a year and a half now. I first noticed it and mentioned it out loud to Merv early at the start of last year, perhaps even earlier than that. I can’t recall exactly, but I know it’s been a really long time. Though, I do remember the scene of it exactly. I can see everything from my memory in a bird’s-eye, third-person perspective. I can see myself and how I was sitting very clearly in my mind. I can feel how I felt at the time, because the pain is still there, only it’s much worse now.

I even remember what I said: “My leg automatically makes me sit like this, with my leg up (I was showing him and am struggling to think how to explain, so I’ll look for a picture later), it happens of its own accord. And I don’t even know why because it hurts like hell every time it does it. Something is wrong with my knee.” Or at least words to that effect. Basically, as soon as I sit down, it’s like my left leg wants to sit cross-legged and does it on its own.

The MRI results show that there is a peripheral longitudinal tear of my meniscus, which basically means I tore the rubbery cartilage that cushions my knee joint, specifically along the outer edge. Because of the tear, my knee has also developed a mild joint effusion. In normal person terms, that just means I have some fluid on the knee. It’s my body’s natural way of causing inflammation to try and protect the joint.

The recommendation going forward is an arthroscopic correlation, which is essentially keyhole surgery to confirm the MRI results of the tear. Had this been a recent injury, surgery is not usually the first go-to. But given the longevity of the symptoms and the fact that the pain stopped being localised at the knee joint quite some time ago, it proves that my knee isn’t capable of healing itself.

Mind you, all of this comes from everything I’ve looked at on Google and discussed with Al (Google’s AI—I love it!). I have a phone appointment tomorrow with Elean to discuss it. But to be honest, Diary, I’m really all over the place in my head when it comes to Elean about certain things. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a while, but there are some things I just struggle to share. Even with you. Nothing in a way that compromises her position as a doctor or anything like that. Uh, I don’t know, like I said, just in my head.

But anyway, given how far away she is, she obviously doesn’t know of any specialists anywhere in the area. I was speaking to Hallie, who is currently in hospital having a ketamine infusion, and she mentioned getting on the waiting list fast since I’ll be waiting a long time for the surgery. I reminded her that I have health insurance and that this is definitely something that needs to be taken care of immediately. This is to me the literal definition of why I have fairly high hospital cover. She then asked me if my insurance even covered the type of surgery I’m going to need. I was pretty sure it did but figured I should probably check.

Because I wanted to ensure 100% that I didn’t read it wrong on the fact sheet, I went straight to the policy booklet first. That is where I finally read the fine print on the insurance I pay $124.41 a fortnight for, and have been for well over two years. I honestly hadn’t realised I hadn’t read it before. I mean, if I have read it, I probably did at some point in the time I’ve had it, given this is the second time having it with the same insurer. Which by the way, is still currently NIB. I’m thinking about switching my extras to Bupa since I would really like to be able to choose my extras, but at the same time, I do want to keep my hospital cover with NIB.

I really liked what I read in the fine print. Especially given Hallie was telling me I’m going to be out of pocket for so many thousands of dollars in fees. The surgeon and the anaesthetist at least, then obviously all of the physical therapy I’m going to need afterwards. Now, I’m not sure about the therapy afterwards since I only have a certain amount for extras and I’ve already used some of it in the category needed. I think.

Ha, I think I have just now realised why Hallie said to go public, because of all the treatment I’m going to need afterwards. That is all outpatient. I would love for it to somehow be able to be put together as a plan of some kind that my insurance does pay for, or if I can get the physical therapy through the public system and the surgery through private so it’s faster. These are all questions that I will definitely be asking.

Up until now, I’ve been thinking private simply because it turns out that NIB have many partnerships with many providers who either don’t charge out of pocket or NIB covers the amount they do, usually up to $500. I checked for orthopaedic surgeons in Bendigo through NIB’s provider search feature and numerous specialists came up listed as no-gap providers with NIB. The feature even tells me which surgeons work with no-gap anaesthetists also. So, I plan to call all of them tomorrow and ask all the questions I need to.

I’ve been writing this for a while now. But I can’t keep watching Pretty Little Liars and write at the same time, and I also can’t keep pausing it and rewinding every time I miss something important. Which is always. Great show, so I’m going to put my phone away until I make a short video for the day.

It’s been easier to type out all of this this evening, hence it will be a short video before bed tonight.

Thursday the 17th of September 2026 at 10:32 PM