[SIDE NOTE: This video was made before lunch, just so everyone is on the same page 😅]

I don’t think so. I reject even ..

Actually, I stopped putting the days I’d been doing this because I had fucked them up and kept losing my place with them when I missed a video once in a while..

This is a diary. That’s is the only way I can explain any of this. This is what I mean when I say it’s prominently for me, yet I’m a Storyteller for whoever wants to listen and or see me. I say this because I know many people listen to me like a podcast while doing other things, for example; studying while listening to and catching up on my videos…

Maybe I should do that lol hahahaha 😆 😂

I need to watch more regularly. And then I think, how many people out there really go back and read their diary entries straight away? I honestly have no clue.


My father and Pam just left. That’s always an interesting situation. I am too stoned to even try and talk about the rest of my afternoon without it coming out wrong I’m se way I feel. At least right now. Especially with how I feel about what’s going on with my family.

See I’m scared to fully explain ls things sometimes for fear of being attacked in my private life.  I am already accused of being a bully and treating people wrongly or told that I hate them, when all I actually say is how much I love them and want a real relationship with, so, you know, I’m beyond confused and well anyway I don’t trust what I’d say if I tried to talk it out right now.

Jesze Liv, you know as well as anyone what you just wrote is bullshit. None the less, all I want to truly want to do is smoke more weed and watch Netflix.

Bullshit in the sense that talking it out is exactly what I need to do. That is the point of this diary. I need to talk everything out. I need to do it like this. I stopped questioning why ages ago. Nope that’s not true. What a lie. I question myself constantly during my really bad days. I question it all. But I ultimately always end up at the same exact conclusion.  And that is simply this: I don’t know why but I know I’m supposed to do this. For everyone out there who struggle to journal and get your thoughts out. If you’re anything like me in the slightest,  you’ll have a lot of thoughts.  Sometimes I need to talk about something so much it feels like it’s poisoning me. 

Ah I’m off track 😆

Merv has popped into town to get a few forgotten things and I’m waiting for the jug to boil so I can make. Lipton Chai Latte, they are sooo good, and Merv asking the guy at IGA to please start stocking them here worked so now I have plenty, and then I’m going to put Netflix on.

It’s been a nice but long fay. I am exhausted and now want to do nothing. We are having pancakes for dinner. Yummy!

5:13 PM