And yet, I’ve looked in my fridge, freezer and pantry several times now and I don’t want any of it.
I need to eat but seriously am just at a level of meh it’s almost asnif I just don’t care which strange because I do.
Every single thing I have done starting with quitting smoking ice is because I care. But someone has to. I am one of many all ve the world here to help raise the vibrations of our planet. I see everything perfectly clear in a bird’s eye view. I can see the long term, generations to come changes that need to change to give our species any chance of survival.
It’s just down here in 3D I either feel like time has slowed down or what often that there’s never enough time, for anything.
Being severely triggered by clocks counting down started around mid-spring to early summer 2015. It was like this clock starting ticking in my mind. A bright red digital clock counting down. It ended on my 30th Birthday.
Now, I have been weird about clocks time since I was a little kid. I don’t know. I didn’t then, I still don’t know now but everything is different now. Except the ticking down timers, it’s like magic. I’m good, I’m good, everything is ok, I know what I have to do. More than that, I actually know how to do it. I’ve paid hundreds of dollars in tutoring for this unit. Thank fuck I did to. The Universe bought the kindest most amazing tutor, but like not only a tutor, he does counselling for people with ADHD. I mean, those who you who’ve been following along for awhile will know just how much I’ve been putting it out to the Universe to help me. I am struggling in what feels like every aspect of my life right now and the only thing I’m holding onto right now is how soon this will be over ๐ฎโ๐จ
The trimester ๐ Not the entire degree ๐
Right now I don’t think I’ll actually be moving at all for a little while ๐คฃ๐คฃ
I’m nicely stoned now sitting on my couch listening to INXS the only light is the salt lamp and computer screens reminding me on how much I have to do lol
Wrote the next two paragraphs first then something wrote this above ๐
I’m always nervous before an exam, have been since way back to being a young kid.
Noticed earlier that I think that because this exam is freaking me out on a level that even I can’t understand, because, in all fairness to myself, my grades are pretty ok, I think I’m dissociating more and more the closer the clock clicks down. It’s already started.
Ooo playing with the font is cool ๐
Ah, time to get up, reheat my coffee and finish what I was working on before ๐ค