My evening went from bad to extremely worse.

If I didn’t like myself earlier believe me when I say the self hatred has kicked in after calling the person back. I thought it would be a brief call. But she wanted to talk. I am so stupid. So so stupid, I just want to defer my last three units and just stay in bed all the time. I am not a nice person. I don’t mean for this to happen but sometimes I seriously can’t regulate my emotions. Because of this I think it really is best that I say away from everyone.

I have sent a message to cancel tomorrow’s plans. I need to just slowly but surely keep working through my uni content. Gets a bit harder every day that I feel like I’ve fallen even more behind.

I am so so sad. 7:49 pm

Update: 7:56 pm | original title Ooh Fuck and Youtube age restricted it 🤦‍♀️ just another fu*k up on my behalf 🥺 since it’s on the computer I have to get up to go get my laptop and right now I’m lying on top of my bed, which warm from the electric blanket, holding the tears at bay, but I just don’t know for how much longer 😢 here they are 😭😭😭😭

Upon checking it looks like the age restriction has gone since I fixed the title.