Instead of complaining …

About how hard everything is due to how high my pain levels are, I have realised that I am still the only person who is here to do it, so, instead of complaining about it as it gets worse around me, I am just going to make myself do it. And evwn better yet, instead of music or Friends, as most of you know is my favourite tv show and what I tend to use when I can’t handle how loud the silence gets, but tonight I did neither. I have put on the weekly learning videos for uni so I can listen while I clean.

Today is an interesting day. It really could have gone a completely different way, resulting in potential extreme darkness, like it usually does I am now realising with thousands of past memories flying at me, today is different because I changed something. I literally cried in the shower sitting in the bath with the shower pouring down on me while I cried my eyes out.

And yet, looking back over my day, I can see that in the past I would have declined or rejected any offer to catch up with Victor for a coffee and yet, not only did I accept ot but told him he could come for a visit before I had to leave for therapy.

Hmmm I have typed too much for too long with what I want to achieve before I go to bed and watch today’s therapy session. That’s provided I’m still awake enough by then lol 😆

I’ll transfer the video from YouTube to here now then get back to my cleaning and organising 🤓

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