It’s just hit me so suddenly..

I was fine, working on my resubmission when I was hit with the most sudden severe hit of anxiety..

I told Graham it literally took my breath away..

But it’s only now that I can recognise how much I miss him. So fucking much.

Randy I love you. I miss you. I miss our chats. No one else ever wants to chat properly with me.

I know you are with me spiritually but I just want to see you. Speak to you. Tell you how much I appreciated you.

I can keep my crying from completely taking over trying to write a post instead of allowing it to beat me.

I will be there on Friday when we say goodbye to your human self for the very last time. 😭😭😭😭😭