No more alarms. No more killing myself enough is enough.

And I am good enough exactly as I am.

The people in my real life don’t even really know me.

I feel like I am wound so tight, I’m going to explod.

Simultaneously feeling proud and like I’m going to break into a millions pieces on my kitchen floor, while making some egg and toast sandwiches to eat for dinner.

First the bread breasks. Then I ise the wrong size pan. Burn the butter. Smoke kitchen. Have to open window while heat’s on (now off) Start again.

For a while there I was having very severe visions of smashing my hesd over and over again into the cupboard door but thankfully didn’t act on it..

And now I’ve over cooked the eggs. Of course. I knew it was going to happen so of course it did.

And burnt my toast 😫😭

Update. Few minutes later. I want this fay to end. I’m pretty sure I’m not far away from crying 🥺

Here’s how I know I’ve grown.. I haven’t thrown it across the room.

I’ve completely lost my appetite.

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