It’s 7:48pm. I am going to sleep

The only person causing me problems is me.

It was easier when I didn’t care.

Now I do.

The realisation I had last night is what is causing this feeling now.

I want to run away and never think about uni, or learning or helping or working or doing anything that causes me pain and exhaustion again.

Because that’s the main problem.

I need help.

I can not apply to be a support worker..

When I so badly need one myself.

I am in so much pain. And always so tired.

So this afternoon I cried. Even at the park.

My ego is afraid. So very afraid.

My Higher Self as faith we’ll be ok…

But my human self still makes me listen to all of the reasons why I shouldn’t be here.

I was fine. Until I wasn’t.

How many more years before I figure this out? ????

Hopefully I get there soon..

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