Day 142: 20th May 2022 | Just when I was starting to feel really secure…


I still don’t understand why, when things like this happen, I first gut instinct is to panic and cry. Maybe because I have felt so alone my whole life. I do everything alone and I just wasn’t expecting this. At least not today.

I truly believe the Universe looks after me and that everything is happening as it is supposed to be, and yet, the lower part of me still always wins. I can’t deal with this forever!!!!

I feel like a failure and an idiot and just all round a worthless person who keeps getting hit with things that remind me of how far I have to go because crying like this, makes no sense and does nothing to change the situation and yet, I’m still very crying writing this, even after two valiums and a vape.


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