It breaks my heart when I find out people who I thought were actual real genuine friends, actually walk on eggshells around me; and that’s in text!

It turns out that every single person anround walks on eggshells. I thought it was just my family but nope, it’s other’s, I consider friends. People who promise to tell the truth but never do. The whole world lies and sometimes I wonder why I continue to fight it. I am a fantastic lair. Obviously. I have BPD. Like, no offense to the next person, nor to make the stigma worse, but of course I can lie. It’s like Billie Elish ..’ Duh’! hahaha And I’m not some fucking dumb cunt who doesn’t understand that if you are going to lie, you must have a back story for any bloody question that can be thrown at you.

But I vowed to never lie again. I think it was in my second year at university. I really realted to Kant and his murder at the door example on why you should always tell the truth, and vowed then and there I was going to ever again.

Don’t get me wrong, I have believed that honesty and trust are the most important things in the world fer as long as I can rememeber. It’s just that before I soritiality woke up and ligit started seeing the worls definitley, I was just like everyone else. Able to convince myself of anything.

So just like how I had convinced myself that I could love animals and fight for their injustice, yet still eat them, I was able to feel like I truly believed that honesty and truth wwer the most important things ever and yet I could lie amung the best of them. kFar better than Mr X and he lead a double, sometimes, triple life for multiple years..

Anyway, turns out even my friends walk on eggshells around me. I don’t have many friends in real life guys. At this rate I’ll have none in who know how long…………..

I think Grant would maybe stick around………………

I need to eat something and LIe down because I feel so incredibility sad

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