Of course people who want to stay safe in their lives while genuinely unhappy can’t have me in their lives.
Every single thing I’m about these days is growing and changing and evolving.
So many times people get all pissed off because I am genuinely real and tell the truth. I am much nicer about how I go about it too these days.
I’m lying in bed, with the movie ‘Pathology’ paused on my tv, yet am obviously still subconsciously or now consciously thinking about everything that transpired during that brief friendship with yet more people who just can’t deal with me..
And I think I can now safely (hopefully) say i have come full circle and can once again see, that this isn’t about me.
I once argued for over an hour at a university philosophy debate about the ethics and morals of eating meat, and stated over and over again that I would be eating meat until I die. Bacon was my favourite food.
Yet, now I am vegan.
People who want to stay stuck in their fake, happy, compartmentalised, trying to “save face” in society, don’t deserve me! I know who I am. I do.
I am doing the best I can. And if being me means absolutely nobody wants to be in my life than so be it. But I do have a few friends. Though got to admit on days like today all I hear is that the very few friends I’ve got will all eventually leave too..
I need to really try and focus on the good things right now, because just writing that ⬆️ has bought tears to my eyes again 😢
I don’t want to feel this fragile anymore. I feel like I a fake and a fraud and just so incredibly stupid..
This post started of good yet now I’m crying. No wonder I spend the majority of my time alone.