I don’t need to move my motorbike after all!

Since the puppies are being picked up tomorrow, I no longer have to block up any gaps. I definitely won’t be fostering puppies again after this at all.

Unfortunately though it has just really bought to the forefront all of my unanswered questions. Like where is all the money that pays for the adoptions. I obviously understand that tere are plenty of outgoing fees for vets etc but I am surprised there doesn’t seem to be left over money available for emergency situations. But again, I don’t know enough. I’m just no longer feeling as happy and as comfortable as I was before fostering. I said from the start I can only do it if I get to treat them like my own. It was fine when they were desperate for new foster people who will look after bigger dogs, but when my glasses get fucked or information is misconstrued, all of a sudden I’m doing everything wrong. I am still seriously pissed that I am doing a nice thing taking in foster dogs and puppies and yet for doing so I was spoken to like trash.

Do I not know how to follow instructions?!? Apparently not. But I’ve been been failing at life for 36 years!!

Fuck. I need to put my phone away. Instead of asking my neighbour for help with my bike tomorrow, I’ll be asking for my tv and remote control back. I absolutely 100% need a complete mental health day myself. That involves my tv. And that’s ok.

I have been doing so well for so long. Yet sometimes I just needbto unplug completely. And that’s what I need to do tomorrow.

Hopefully this helps me to not go to other people.

Right now I need to go inward. I can feel it.

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