I have a few of them banking up.
I don’t know how to feel. Almost like I don’t know what I’m allowed to feel anymore because I am so afraid of being wrong. Which is effectively why I’m attacking crap to me to feel stupid. Coz I do. Like I can’t even foster dogs right. I mean jesus how stupid can one be.
I know these thoughts don’t help me but thankfully I’m not nearly as attached to my thoughts as I used to be. Now I have silent tears just flowing down my face. Nothing too extreme which is nice.
I feel like I’ve stuffed up. I feel like I haven’t been given enough information. Apparently I was told, and I know I forget stuff but I just don’t understand how in the moment if I was told the pups are only until the other dog arrives since he’s from a vet and the pups aren’t fully vaccinated, I would have agreed to it.
So yay lucky me! More fun not knowing if a) I’ve been told something to my face and just completely not registered any of it, or, b) I was told but am now being told I was and trying to remember something that didn’t happen. I just know I never would have gone through any of it with them if I just had to give them back. I now literally have to go buy new glasses because of them.
I really feel like I just need a day by myself just me and Boss after all of this. And truth be told I don’t really even want to foster the dalmatian at all the way I’m currently feeling. Guess I’ll sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning.
Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I am wrong about a lot of things. Who knows. Right now though thankfully I don’t care.