I am literally shaking. Again. Once again I have been shown just how little regard anyone actually has for people other than themselves.

But once again I saw ALL THE RED FLAGS but chose to ignore them. Chose to keep forgiving their bullshit excuses for justifing themselves.

I feel sick in my stomach. I haven’t even shared the video I made this morning. Nor showered. Everything just seems so irrelevant now.

No matter what I do, I get it wrong. Over and over again I am wrong. So fucking wrong.

I don’t trust anyone. Most certainly not myself. Not after what just happened. I feel numb yet sick, I want to cry but it’s like I’m frozen except for this one finger typing..

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I want to run away. I want to be completely alone.

Live out the rest of whatever time Boss has left in peace and then go home when he does.

I’m already terrified of that day but maybe this is just how it’s supposed to be.

I can’t help anyone. I certainly can’t help myself.

I am always going to be the one in the wrong.

I don’t want to do this anymore..

I’ve had enough. I’m so broken already.

Please Universe please help me

Please let me die peacefully before Boss does

I can’t keep doing this anymore

And now the tears are here

😭😭😭😭