Thank goodness for Boss. He truly is my guardian angel 😇

I found out on Thursday the doctors letter I sent to the disability service at university was never passed on to the person it was intended for as it “inappropriate”. As soon as I found out I emailed both my doctor and psychologist immediately. My psychologist emailed back almost straight away saying that it was more inappropriate that it wasn’t sent to the unit chair. I then had phone appointment with my doctor who told me I am absolutely to attach the letter when I emailed to say the essay was submitted.

So once I submitted it at approximately 11:30pm last night, I attached the letter and stated that I was informed by my medical support that I must attach it and if uni has any problems with this they are to call my doctor or psychologist or both.

I also added that I beyond disappointed regarding the entire situation as it has severely negatively impacted all of my health conditions, resulting in this being the worst experience I have ever had since starting university.

I am so grateful none of my units lined up until trimester two next year. This year really has me feeling like there is absolutely no point in applying for more degrees. My anixety around uni is really bad now.

Today feels like the first day I have genuinely been able to rest properly.

Mum called several times before I woke around 10 or 1030am to her video calling me. I told her about being banned from posting on fibromyalgia page because I suggested someone seek medical advice regarding the vaccine. And she just totally lost it. Her twin has been mums town past few days and now all of a sudden its like mum thinks she knows everything.

She told me she doesn’t understand why I don’t want it, to which i said thats ok you don’t have to understand because I have spoken to my doctor and am happy with my decision. She got angry telling me.. god help you if you get covid and that I am going to have a horrible rest of my life. That ended the conversation.

Honestly she causes me so much grief I’m very much at the point where it thankfully doesn’t hurt me as much which is good.

I fell asleep on the couch around 1230pm cuddling Boss and woke just before 4pm I think. I then had some toast and coffee while pouring a bath. This time it wasn’t too hot but I could feel where in my body was in the most pain. I stayed in as long as I could refilling it hot water as I let out cold when needed.

But I was so completely exhausted, I couldn’t keep my eyes open so started thinking about drowning in the bath room falling asleep. My tub is little so I don’t completely fit but still given how I feel, which is basically broken on every level due to working basically around the clock for past 20 days. The thoughts of drowning in the bath were giving me such a peaceful feeling in comparison to how shitty I actually feel, I decided I should probably get out, so I did.

But I could not relax straight away since I have my CPR refresher course on Monday afternoon (which is basically useless if this discrimination and division in the world or at least where I live stops). I have to complete the online training at least 24 hours prior to the practical course. Thankfully that is 415pm on Monday and only currently 850pm Saturday night. I have completed one out of three so far but was hungry so stopped after the first and will do rest in the morning.

Right now I’m lying on my bed with Boss stretched out next to me. Friends is playing on my tv through Netflix while I write this. Was going to put a movie on but think I probably just need to go to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open typing this 😴