-

OMG, for the first time ever, or, in as long as I can remember, I have actually put reminders into my phone for tomorrow and I am so proud!
I know it may sound silly but I’m seriously not kidding about how hard I find even some of the most basic things to do, simply, because, I am alone. Well, not simply I guess because I definitely don’t feel down or depressed etc, but getting out of bed is quite difficult at the moment,
-
No wonder I feel chaotic, my house is a mess again and out of order, so, therefore, therefore my mind is too …
It’s moments like these when I wonder if learning what all the emojis mean, because, I can picture in my head the facial expression I want at the end of the incredibly long title, but I have no idea which one it correspondences to in emoji land lol I tried a heap but no clue
-

I knew I was behind on watching my daily videos but I think I’m more behind than I realised ๐ ๐
People are constantly telling me how brave it is that I upload all my videos before watching them. To which I always explain, you can’t edit something you haven’t seen and the entire point and purpose of this website and the corresponding YouTube channel. They have to be authentic. This much I know. And truthfully,
-

Boss lasted as long as he could before wanting to get under the blanket with me ๐
Truthfully, I am surprised he lasted as long as he did ๐คฃ I took these pictures โฌ๏ธ when I was speaking to Cassidy on speakerphone earlier. Boss is such a crackup when hearing other people’s voices. Especially the voices of people he has not met in real life. He is just so damn cute, so
-

Day 581: 2nd August 2023 | This is short since made it at the hospital ๐
I had no idea that I would have to wear a gown, so that was interesting to begin with. I was already nervous after everything I was told yesterday about how the medication that tricks your heart into thinking it’s exercising since they said yesterday and again today that it is an extremely unpleasant experience.
-
Not by a long shot and this prompt has just made it even weirder ๐ซฃ
Was today typical? The energies are chaotic or at least the sure seem to be for me. I am 100% on edge, that much seems to be the case. I guess I have some right to feel all over the place given everything going on. I think I’m getting better at focusing on the good
-
I think I am scared ๐ข
I just didn’t know it until right now ๐ฅน My heart is beating so fast, how much I can feel it is now making me cry. What if something is really wrong. I haven’t felt right for so long. I wrote “And now I just feel so alone” but realised that is not true. Especially
-
Day 580: 1st August 2023 | First day of heart tests today โบ๏ธ
I’m not even sure what they involve, just that today’s tests will take a couple of hours and tomorrow will be even longer ๐ซฃ 9:18 am
-
Day 579: 31st July 2023 | I’m attending the online class even though I don’t feel well ๐
I am feeling proud of myself but am feeling worse the longer I sit up, so, I hope I get through it ๐ 2:55 pm
-
Day 578: 30th July 2023 | I’m not feeling great today, hope it passes and not the flu ๐ฎโ๐จ
I’m feeling genuinely nauseous and like I’m boiling hot. I have spent most of my bed in bed, either watching Netflix or sleeping ๐ด My stomach is in knots right now ๐ Hopefully, I will feel better tomorrow ๐ค 7:00 pm