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Why do you haunt me ?
When I’m good it’s great When I feel like I’m breaking apart I can feel you breaking apart too I sound like I’m mad Or delusional as you used to love putting it Mad , delusional , crazy hahahahaha None of it matters Because it’s still happening This is real life baby
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Sometimes I honestly do think I’m lucky to be alive the state of this world upsets me so much 🥺
If I had one wish it would be for every single person what it feels like to live with the amount of mental and physical illnesses I have and then tell me how fucking easy it is to just take my medication and get on my life. When I’m in a loving high vibrational frequency…
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Day 51: 18th February 2022 – Part 2 – I am ALWAYS the problem. I don’t want to be here anymore 🥺
Trigger Warning: Suicide mentioned Days like today just show me more and more how much I truly don’t belong here.. I don’t want to do this anymore. Thank Fuck I had a doctor appointment right at the time I started playing with my knife so she was able to talk me down 😭
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Day 51: 18th February 2022 – I think my mind is broken I can’t remember how to put duvet on 😅🤣
Litteraly like title says 🤣 I am lying on my still not currently made bed, completely confused but have no idea why! 😅 P.S: this was made this morning when I still have good and happy ..
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I have prayed for death for as long as I can remember…
I don’t want to live alone for the rest of my life. No one understands me. Nobody cares. I’m just a freak. A freak that no one cares about. I think about death every single day. I don’t understand anybody anymore.. And with days like today combined with what happened last night make those thoughts…
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Just when you think you are finally surrounded by good people you find out just how fucked one is and end up needing to block them 😞
I am literally shaking. Again. Once again I have been shown just how little regard anyone actually has for people other than themselves. But once again I saw ALL THE RED FLAGS but chose to ignore them. Chose to keep forgiving their bullshit excuses for justifing themselves. I feel sick in my stomach. I haven’t…
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My throat is very very upset that I smoked a joint 😓
So close to actually pulling it off haha That is … hmm . In hindsight my throat has been in pain, I smoked bongs before starting antibiotics, whixh I am now on, for said sore throat.. Ergo… Smoking a joint wasn’t very smart at all 🤦♀️🥺😢😭🤒😷
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It’s 9.35pm 🤦♀️😆
I’m 24:50 minutes into the first episode 😆 I don’t know where the day went 😕 Thank god for blogs 🤣
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Day 50: 17th February 2022 | Part 4 | Just finished watching part 2 😅 thought I’d say goodnight 😴 🥰
Well I certainly got lost in a tagent there in 2 didn’t I? Like I’ve said here, that’s a topic for intense therapy, definitely not really for these videos moving forward 😅 😆 I have plenty of experience with “superficial” with my entire family so… 🤷♀️ I am so stoned I’ve been trying to type…
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Day 50: 17th February 2022 – Part 5 | Just finished watching part 2 😅 thought I’d say goodnight 😴 🥰
Well I certainly got lost in a tagent there in 2 didn’t I? Like I’ve said here, that’s a topic for intense therapy, definitely not really for these videos moving forward 😅 I have plenty of experience with “superficial” with my entire family so… 🤷♀️ I am so stoned I’ve been trying to type this…
