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Day 11: 9th (NOT the 10th) January 2022 – Lying on my bed watching Netflix
I got ahead of myself thinking it was the 10th today. Not sure why, since I have a phone appointment with my doctor tomorrow at 10.15am on the 10th! ๐คฆโโ๏ธ๐ I feel like myself again thankfully, though it did take the day but that’s ok. It’s 10.49pm now and I want to get up by
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Day 10: 8th January 2022 – Me and my baggage ๐
I really did manage to work myself up earlier. PTSD is really a bitch and seems to me effecting me more these days. My emotional dysregulation being more pronounced. Anyway, I ended up sleeping from 1pm till 5.11pm. It’s now exactly 8pm and I’m sitting in bed watching Manifest. The only thing I managed to
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Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck with this invisible barrier keeping me from doing what I need….
I definitely feel better than yesterday, but still feel flat. And what’s even stranger is that, I don’t think I felt like this when I woke up… Absolutely nothing has happened. I woke at 6.30am like I last post said, and have been reading off and in while I chat with my uni friend Graham.
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Up at 6.30am today
Woke up needing the bathroom and this time decided to actually pay attention to all of the notes on my walls saying to stay up when i wake up. Which is funny because its the last thing I remember thinking when I fell asleep last night. I feel like myself again, even, if a bit
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It’s 8.14pm and I’m feeling better..
Still a bit meh ๐ flat you know but nothing else which is good.. I’m watching Manifest on Netflix and it’s really good. Number 1 here. Anyway just thought I’d do a brief update given some of my posts today ๐
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Silent tears are still pouring down my face..
I can’t get my mums favourite thing to say when we were kids out of my head… Sleeping brings us closer to death. The more we sleep the closer we get. I have talked to a friend on messenger and remembered I have valuim so took two of them. My friend suggested I stay away
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Day 9: 7th January 2022 – I stuffed up ๐ฅ
I really need to learn how to actually embed these videos instead of just sharing the links.. Anyway, what I talk about in this video has led ro some realisations about myself.
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Having emotional dysregulation is so hard to deal with ๐ฅ
Trigger Warning: I can’t stop crying. This is so stupid. I feel so stupid and like I need to be punished. That’s another shitty side effect of everything I deal with. When I do something that is perceived as wrong, I just feel so bad. But I pretty sure I shouldn’t be reacting this badly
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I am such a fuck up sometimes…
I’m in tears. Definitely not reacting according to what actually happened. Which is on video I’ve just made which is uploading. Thankfully I qas a le to make the video before I started crying but now I can’t seem to stop ๐ญ I should know better by now to just keep my mouth shut. Always.
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When the rain starts pouring and you have to stop the water from coming inside…
I love my home, but there are some disadvantages of living in a house that will eventually be knocked down.. One of those is making sure the water can’t get in while it’s pouring outside. As soon as it started I quickly checked all the windows. Meditation room was getting wet inside so I’ve done