https://youtu.be/ji2lKmdDclA?si=eDxurmJCpXdBpD-v

I don’t understand why some people just assume every single thing that happens is my fault.

Everything that has happened up here in Queensland is not because of anything I have done.

I have said all along that I will tell the full story of Dollar Man when the time is right and we have the energy. What happened was atrocious.

Merv and I have every intention of sitting down together and telling the full stories of what has happened up here.

I have slept most of the day, getting up when Merv made dinner. I’ve been feeling pretty flat and sad since waking up.

Sometimes it feels like no one cares less that I am working my ass of to help myself get better. And when those thoughts start, so does the suicide ideation, which is just so scary. But it’s days like this that make me feel like my family would be better off without me.

I started to spiral but thankfully I was able to pull myself out of it. I’m still sad though.

I just need to get to my doctor. Now I need to go to bed.

11:18 PM