From where he is buried. That gut punched me like you wouldn’t believe once the realisation hit me. Talk about immediate self hatred. And on the first day I’ve actually been able to move, along with keeping my eyes open.

Everything feels off. Even this video. Nothing feels real anymore.

Oh and it turns out, that I have absolutely no idea when this video ends because I know that I talked for more than ten minutes, until I realised the red button to record needed to be pressed. For a moment there, I thought I’d been talking to myself the entire time. Thankfully, I found this is my gallery.

I have realised tonight that it has been a decade since I wanted to become a better version of me. I definitely do not feel better. I feel like I’m being punished for something I don’t understand. But then I think about everyone around the world going through hard times, they do the deserve it? Of course not. This is just the way the universe has dealt the cards. One day I will understand why.

Right now, I just feel sad and missing Boss. Though I don’t know how he would have happened this situation. Especially with his barking. So, I love Boss had and miss him incredibly, but I am also incredibly grateful that Happy doesn’t bark.

I pray that I wake up feeling like I have a place here. Like people actually care.

10:22 PM