Merv is in the process of trying to screw the hinge of my solarium (tanning bed) together using the new piece of hinge that had to be replicated.

This is because the first time he tried the piece fell into the bed where it is unreachable. I am beyond stressed out that it is going to happen again. And that if it does it will damage the bed making it unable to be used.

I have had to come into my room and shut the door because I am only making it harder for Merv to do, given I keep freaking out every time he does something. The bed and fan are worth $10,500 combined. Not something that I can easily replace at this point in my life.

I understand people probably think I’m mad caring this much about a tanning bed that I clearly don’t use all that often, given the colour of my white skin. But I plan to. That is why I wanted it bought into the house from out of the garage. When we bought my furniture up to Queensland from Melbourne, the solarium was already together. My sisters partner said it would be best to move it in one piece and he was right. Meaning it didn’t need to be put together for me to start using it.

I feel bad for Merv. I suffer extreme anxiety in certain situations and this is definitely one of them. Merv is beautiful though. He is the most understanding person I think I’ve ever met. Up there with Juice and Eden. I am incredibly lucky to have Merv as a friend and housemate.

I feel somewhat guilty for being in my room with the door shut but I am sure it is better than freaking out every few seconds.

I’ll post an update once it’s done. Please pray that it works ok. I use the bed as a treatment for the chronic pain I live with, not just tanning. I haven’t been able to use it since Merv went into hospital because my motorbike had to be put into the garage because of the weather.

I’m going to go check on Merv now. Please think good thoughts and pray for me ♡

12:59 PM