Plain and simple. You’re kidding yourself if you don’t think so.

Shit got real. I am sad and mad and just so damn hurt that once again, Merv lied to me about something. He, of all people, knows how I feel about lying. His reason was because he “didn’t want to hurt me” which is absolutely fucked. He knows very well that lies are what hurt me the most.

I have cried so much today. It looks like Merv could be air transferred to Brisbane as soon as Tuesday. I, of course, have to go back and get him more clothes and scripts, etc, because I didn’t trust myself and listened to him when he said not to bring any more of his things. Boy, do I feel stupid and irritated.

I just feel like so much has happened since I arrived in Queensland, and these days, more often than not, it feels like I’m second-guessing living here. I don’t want to go back to Melbourne, but I don’t know where I want to be either. Where I am now no longer shines for me. It’s just fill of so many sad memories i such a short time.

I know Merv is sorry, but that unfortunately does nothing to negate the lie. All lies are the same to me. There is no variation of a lie. A lie is a lie. Simple.

9:56 p.m.