It’s been an eventful day, yet, an overall good one.

I still have much to deal with before I can truly stay calm and centered in all situations, though it would seem.

I would love more than anything for my brother-in-law to at least try to see me for all I am trying to do to not let my demons beat me, but, unfortunately, today has made me lose all hope. He will never ever see me for me. Only the times when something has happened to trigger me. It makes me sad because I know this will mean that there will always be a barrier between my sister and me.

I think I have finally realised the actual lesson I so desperately need to learn. I  am no longer going to ask anyone for anything. I have top health insurance and a great medical support team. I can and will turn to professionals at all times from now on.

I’m going to watch some Netflix while I have enough battery to do so before I fall asleep. Boss and I are very comfy and cosy in the back of my SUV with my new awesome car mattress and feeling good.

I love my sister and her family more than she will ever know. Nothing I do or say will ever show her that. But I want and need her in my life, so I am just going to make sure I back off until she comes to me next time. We are good. It’s just been another day full of lessons.

10:34 p.m.

PS: Sorry it’s so dark