Have I always been like this?

Was I always this afraid yet didn’t know it?

Is this what makes me become a monster?

I see it now.

So differently.

It’s good though.

Because I can really see it, well, probably not all of it …

Going within is brutal, hard, exhausting and sometimes gut-wrenching but it’s important, not just for me, but you too..

Whether you choose to is entirely up to you.

I truly am in the best place I have ever been in my life.

I can now see the fear plain as day.

The fear that I always turned into anger and then lashed out and hurt those around me.

I want to heal.

I am ready.

But I am still afraid somewhere deep in my core because it is coming out in so many different situations…

I am writing as these thoughts appear

While I sit in my car parked in my driveway listening to my new Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack that arrived today from eBay

I am soooo happy to say it’s the RIGHT version!!!!!

I am feeling good today, just aware of all of my easily triggered anixety..

Sweet Transvestite just started so I’m publishing this and then going to listen as I’m over the moon it’s the copy I was searching for!

7:19 pm