I have been wrong this whole time.

I thought I had to study and get a bunch of degrees for anyone to take me seriously but I don’t.

I truly believed that I would someday be a public speaker, speaking from stages, helping people.

But I won’t be.

I can now see what I have known for so long but not conceptualized.

Studying with assignments and exams is killing me.

I am so wrecked every day and have no one to help me.

I went to sleep just after 8 pm last night and didn’t wake up until lunchtime and just felt unable to get up.

I slept through class and a day of studying until I finally got up around 3:20 pm.

I have much to do, and I just can’t handle anything anymore. I burst into tears and can’t stop crying.

I just want to pull out of uni but I would so disappointed in myself. But I am never going to uni again after this.

Right now I just stop crying 😭

I know everything is as it is and I have no reason to be, except I’m so sick of being told it doesn’t matter that everything in my life is harder because I am resilient. I’m so sick of everyone telling me that makes everything ok.

When I am in my home by myself, my anxiety is crippling. I need to start my assignment but im a mess because all I do is fail myself.