It’s currently 39% 🤔

I picked up my phone to say this…

I let go of ever dreaming of seeing Mr X again, in reality, in 3D, the second I knew 100% that he had kids.

Right now, at 1:03 am on Friday the 10th of March, 2023, I’m not totally sure if I need to make a note of that for you or me, but I’ve had a fantastic night talking to one of the coolest people I know

For some reason that thought popped into my head while pondering our video conversation this evening, and, well I think we all know by now, that 9 out of 10 times when a thought pops into my mind, I need to make a note of it. On my very public, very real and raw diary where I share .. since it’s not 100% I can’t say “literally” in this instance, but easy say 97-98.5% of everything, and that’s only because some stories can’t be told straight away, or in real time as I’m living them.

By the time I die, I believe, at this moment, that I will share every single thing about myself. This is not because I am vain. It’s because I know I’m supposed to. I honestly don’t know anyone who lives with all the very real, very legitimately diagnosed mental, physical and neurological disorders as I do. I have truthfully lost count; there’s just too many. It’s laughable. Except that it’s not 😒😅

Anyway, I think I lost sight of the point for a few minutes there 🤣🤣🤣

I need to finally tell me story. The main story. The story that story that started this journey 😳 ☺️

I am very good at seeing what everyone else needs to do in order to help themselves, yet, also very good at denying the much harder things that I need to do in my life to help myself. And when I say much harder, after everything I’ve been through, even I find it funny and ironic that I am talking about certain stories I want to tell and have been too afraid to tell in case I tell it wrong.

As most of you will know, and for those of who don’t, and this is how I explained it to my friend, I don’t watch any of my videos before I upload them. This keeps them completely authentic. Therefore, I wouldn’t know if I’d fucked up the telling of the story until it was already public and had been viewed by people in the public 😅

I’m ready to finally step into myself now. I know who I am. I know why I started this journey. I have no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. What I believe in is massive, but it’s real.. Real enough to have completely changed my life in every single possible way by flipping it on its head 🤯😲💗

Considering everything I’ve already shared since starting my website, which, yes, yes, I do pay for it, I pay for the second highest platform available to tell my stories, so, no, unlike another follower who explained to me why he thinks I have my website, which is as a distraction from uni, which couldn’t be further from correct 😆

But, yeah, the stories in which I have to be completely 100% open and vulnerable on a level I haven’t actually gone yet, the one’s where I will tell our story in full, once and for all, what I went through with Mr X that was the upending of everything I knew before then. My entire life changed in every single way imaginable ✨️

I am ..

Universe took over for a second there and deleted what I’d said. I think it’s time to put my phone away. And probably make some fresh toast since the slices I put in the toaster right before I started this post popped so long ago 😅😂

1:36 am