It’s 6:24 pm / 6:40 pm

Days like today drain me. Especially given the past number of days I’ve had in a row, just mentally feeling like shit.

But I really holding on to what my therapist said today; that it’s ok to feel sad. Because that is genuinely how I feel. Because I always miss the one I love even more at this time of year. His birthday is in two days, the 16th of December, and I think it goes without saying you miss the ones you love even more on special occasions like birthdays. Of course, whenever I think of him, I think about his whole family. It’s hard not to, given his wife’s birthday is three days before mine on the 27th, and they have both been in my dreams for at least the past month.

I’m super cosy in bed with Boss lying next to me on the duvet. I have a tv series on Netflix paused on my tv in front of me, but sometimes I just need to write in here..

I have realized, though, and I had this thought last night, besides a couple of notes to myself, that I can save to use if needed during the day, I can in fact turn my phone completely off throughout the day. Maybe check-in at lunch but not even. I think putting my phone away after I’m awake and ready for the day will help a lot with being able to focus better on what I need to do.

This will be accompanied by not opening the messenger app on my laptop either. No more distractions, and no more defeating silence to enhance the feeling of aloneness