It’s like all at once; I can feel every single person who never bothered to make time for me, hitting me. But more than that, I just really miss my Mum.

I’m never going to have anyone to hold me and tell me that they love me no matter what. I know this.

I have to spend my lifetime learning how to be perfectly happy completely alone, because I always will be. Just like so many others are.

My sadness is still so deep its gut wrenching. I think it was only yesterday I said it’s hard to remember how bad it can get when I feel so good, so of course, I have to experience this to remind me.

But like always, writing it out has helped, and I have at least stopped crying. I’m still completely sober, too so that’s something.

I’m going to finish reading the ‘no sleep’ story on Reddit and have an early night. Boss and I are already in bed anyway.

7:10 pm