Today is one of those days where nothing I can take, medication wise, is helping me. All I want to do is sleep. I slept through my alarm again and Rachel didn’t call so I was lucky to be woken up by Andrew mowing his lawns. That’s twice now in two days that Andrew has saved me from being late, or sleeping through my appointments.

Still can’t quite believe that it took me an hour to get these damn contact lenses in and yet all I want to do is take them out and sleep. I literally sat there with the very patient lady for half an hour struggling so much. I was told the training sessions only go for 30 minutes and you have to pass the test to be able to take the remaining free trial ones home to practice. Luckily they were so nice they let me have a 10 minute break as my eyes were starting to to hurt, and then let me try again. Like I said, it took an hour but I got there.

I can hear my gardener working away and want to go check out how it’s looking, but even finding the energy to get up right now is difficult.

This is why I get mad at myself on days when I am feeling good but do nothing except be lazy. Though I already feel better knowing my bongs and home grown weed is out of my house. Especially since I really have no interest in vaping during the day. I think the thc oil is going to make a huge difference as I get used to it.

Actually, considering how wrecked I feel, and chronic fatigue will do that to a person, I just remembered that I vacuumed the main areas of my house when I got home from eye place. So that’s something.

In the past I have always tended to be all or nothing in regards to doing anything. That’s my BPD part of me, my therapist says. So, I would vacuum only when I felt like I could do the whole house. Now thankfully, I am much better at doing things in halves, so did the main rooms and will do the bedrooms tomorrow.

Ok, I’m up. Time to see how my yard is looking.

I’m just so happy and grateful that I have such an awesome gardener! I know he gives me a good rate, if for no other reason than people are constantly telling me. $50 to mow and whipper snipper the front and back lawns. Whatever the vegetable garden materials cost, which he said was approximately $100 and $65 an hour to install the garden. That seems reasonable enough, given given I am currently lying on my bed, and don’t have to lift a finger to do any of it. Plus like I said, given how much money I have shelled out this past couple of weeks, I am very grateful he said I can pay him over the next few weeks 😊