This is long. As you can see. I guess I just needed to talk. To get out of my head. I think I sort of freaked myself out.

I have had a great day, yet it sort of all unraveled once I got home from my motorbike ride. I’m still not totally sure what happened to be honest. 

My neighbour was walking to mine with mower when I was checking motorbike lights at the curb before leaving for my ride. I had left Boss inside and closed the dog door and left the back gate open so I could ride my motorbike straight onto the turntable. Not what I did though, mind you.

I went for a ride, just locally around a few blocks, then stopped past home to see how he was going. He was fine, so I went back out on bike.

Anyway, once I got home everything sort of went a bit haywire. Thinking I was going to wash my bike so leaving it parked on front lawn, combined with the thought, which I had while on the ride home, ‘I am seriously going to smoke a bong and then pour a drink the second I get in the door because of how much pain I’m in’ do not go hand in hand. Yet that is what I did.

Oh that’s right haha I made a vow of celibacy to myself in this video somewhere near the end lol just me myself and I from here on out.. I just don’t want random sex anymore. I am completely done with it.

Anyway, I think my neighbour thought I was judging him because I said there is no way I would live with someone, especially someone who smokes ice. Though I did say I don’t even want bongs around me from Tuesday forward. Thankfully he helped me move my bike into the shed.

“We are all at different places in our lives” what I am now realising in hindsight is what I could have said to neighbour ..

For some reason I just freaked myself out. As I write this telling myself to hurry up now as I’m in pain, I am not sure why. But this video is literally just me sitting down in front of my camera after my neighbour left, and me talking out how I am feeling and questioning my thought process..

I don’t truthfully expect anyone to watch videos like these lol