I am finally showered and freshly dressed and feel heaps better. Sometimes I can’t help but notice that the simplest of things we can do to help ourselves, just seem to hard, big and difficult in the moment. Like me having a shower. I actually love showers and am blessed in the sense my home never runs out of hot water. But boy do I find doing something as “simple” as a shower, really hard. That’s what depression can do to a person.

For me personally, I don’t feel depressed in my life at the moment, it’s just that I am still unfortunately at this cross roads in my life where what I believe matters more to me then anything else, yet I  constantly swayed by others people’s manipulation, simply because what I believe hasn’t fully connected “all the pieces of the puzzle” together. Effectively meaning, I actually feel far more vulnerable and easily triggered at the moment, causing extreme and rapid down spiralling, even though in general I’m in the best place of my life. It’s just I don’t know how to stay calm when easily upset. But at least I am working on it.

Anyway, my original point to this post, is that, when you are in a state of such bad overwhelm, please don’t beat yourself up over not being able to do “the simple things”, because in complete and real transparency.. today is the first day I have showered since getting ready to go to my SIL house on Tuesday. I had to use pill box to work that out (which now needs to be filled 😫 – another “simple” thing I’m lacking in energy for right now). It’s now 4.08pm on Saturday 😳🤷‍♀️

At this point I have watched all but the last video (I think) I have watched vodka and weed one and this morning’s one but none in between.

I haven’t yet even turned the episode of Killing Eve on as yet. Still on episode 2 🤣

Thankfully Boss has now moved to his side 🥰