Trigger Warning:

I can’t stop crying. This is so stupid. I feel so stupid and like I need to be punished. That’s another shitty side effect of everything I deal with. When I do something that is perceived as wrong, I just feel so bad. But I pretty sure I shouldn’t be reacting this badly to what happened.

I never want to hurt myself again, and yet, even now, my first automatic thought process is to cut myself to make this all better. I don’t know why I still think like this. Most of the time I feel like I am doing so well and am living a normal life. But right now, it’s just so.. I don’t even know…

I don’t know why I’m still crying .. but I am..

All because I made the dumb mistake of saying something out loud that I should have kept to myself. I will remember this day amd what has happened though, given, how much it’s upsetting me, what I’ve done..