I’m still super sensitive today.

Managed to get kitchen and lounge tidy and floors vaccumed but that was it house work wise but that’s ok.

Finally filled out medication box and went to chemist to pick up meds I’d run out off. I have finally had to admit to myself that abruptly stopping taking all my daily meds for no reason is not a good idea and probably adds to how shit I’m feeling. I finally asked the chemist today exactly how dangerous it is when I do it. I don’t do it on purpose per say, it’s really hard to explain.

Days like yesterday and before and even now get to me coz I feel like I’m so unaligned and its so confusing. I know my life is good. I am genuinely happy yet didn’t do something as simple as fill in my pill box for like a week and was taking the meds I needed out of the big box I keep all the boxes in but then just stopped. There is no explanation except that I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to fill the pill box or take them. It only lasted a few days, since I was so aware by yesterday I ended up getting up out of bed to take them. The chemist agreed it is dangerous and I will absolutely be experiencing withdrawal symptoms given just how many daily meds I take take. She said that it will be contributing to how sensitive I am and why I’m so easy to tears. I’m pretty sure the tears thing was the same before though truthfully. So yeah I really have to make sure that doesn’t happen again. My medication makes my life better than easier in all ways. I’ve been on and off medication for over 10 years, being on them is the right option and I know this.

Anyway, my meds are sorted. I had the ct scan which they gave to me on a dvd/cd disk which I am to give to my doctor. I have phone appointment tomorrow morning at 10.15am with my doctor to tell her all these symptoms I’m dealing with and explain about how I was tested for hyperthyroidism but unfortunately can’t seem to find the paperwork in the mountain of medical paperwork I’ve got from having to apply for NDIS this year even though I told my medical team I’m not eligible since I am a New Zealand citizen living in Australia. Seriously Kiwi’s have it worse than any other internationals when it comes comes to applying for permanent residency or citizenship here. But again, thats for another day and another blog. I’m just going to ask my doctor to organise whatever tests need to be done. My sister has the opposite one of hypothyroidism, so thyroid problems are definitely in the family. I just can’t handle the constant sweating. Especially when I’m cold. And I really do think I look too skinny. I’m definitely having a hungry day today so eating plenty.

Once home from ct scan, I sorted out all my vape capsules. I used my home grown stuff since I still have some prescribed dosages full if I want them, but while I’m being lazy my stuff is perfect. I really must plant the 3 auto seeds I have left to grow.

Realised it’s been a while since I cleaned my vape so did that after the capsules. It was gross. Took awhile and a bit of methylated spirits to clean it.