Sitting on my bedroom floor with the worse suicidal thoughts going through my head. Soany possible ways to go amd all so easy when done correctly. Believe me I spend a lot of time thinking about death. And how I can’t wait to get old and die.

I have tried to kill myself enough times to know if i ever try again i won’t be trying. So I write in here instead. We live in a world where it’s no longer innocent until proven guilty, we constantly have to prove ourselves to feel like we matter in this cancel culture world we now live in.

On days like today I honestly don’t know why I have anything to do with people in the real world. I’m well aware I don’t communicate the right way or whats expected of me. I don’t even want to talk to friends on days like today after being messaged by my friend after he left. I get why he said what he did and that I’m a horrible bitch for how I reacted but fuck me tell me something like that on a day like today and what do you expect. I’m the one in the wrong. I always am.

Today is not a fun day.

I’m in bed now, having something to eat, still watching Friends as thats my happy place these days..