I saw my doctor today who confirmed there is definitely a lump on my abdomen which I need to have an ultrasound for.

I explained that I have also been experiencing strange painful feelings up and down my legs and lately if I stand for too long, I sometimes feel like I’m going to fall..

So I also have to get an ultrasound on my lower back. The place is in the same building as my doctor but were closed by the time my appointment ended. So I will call in the morning.

Obviously I am somewhat concerned. But I know there is absolutely no point on dwelling on it when I will only get some answers after the ultrasounds.

I’m sure it is probably nothing, but I was standing in the bathroom checking my eye which had started hurting while watching a movie lying in bed. Dog hair sticking out of the corner of my eye 🤦‍♀️ anyway the following thought went through my head…

I honestly wouldn’t wouldn’t be surprised if I have cancer. I spent roughly 20 years wishing and hoping and praying that I would get an illness, something like cancer and die from it. This of course after all the wishing, hoping and praying that someone would just kill me..

But I know even if it was cancer it wouldn’t kill me. I would have to go through the whole ordeal ordeal but I wouldn’t die. More like, just adding to the already large list of things I deal with to help me understand and help others better.

I’m sure it’s nothing like this but it’s just so interesting the mind set I feel I have when thinking about the slight chance the lump is something bad. Very comforting really 💞