Spent the day reminding myself that I can do it. I can get my assignment to a good enough stage to submit and I did.

Unfortunately though, as the afternoon wore on and the clock continued to count down, my anxiety became stronger and stronger and I just became more and more anxious.

I ended up emailing my disability support worker at university in the morning but when I hadn’t heard back by about 3:30pm I ended up calling and leaving a message on her machine explaining that my anxiety was getting bad not knowing what is going on. She called me back just before 5pm as she needed to speak to the unit chair first. Which I knew but the thought had not kept my anxiety at bay the longer the day went on.

Everything is ok. I submitted the bonus short answer this evening, after writing it about six different times. And it may all by for nothing. Depends on the grade. Currently my lowest grade is 72% on Q1. I still have to submit literature review by the 8pm on the 8th of November. She then said the unit chair suggested the 15th for essay. I told her that made me feel like I couldn’t breathe. By this point I was well and truly in tears while talking to her.

Again I said, I don’t understand how this is even happening when the medical documents had already been accepted. She said they feel what is best is that I just get them done. I explained that I had been in the midst of my essay and now have had to drop it to go back to do the literature review first, have something on on the 10th and my psychologist appointment on the 11th. I told her there is absolutely no way I’m going to be able to submit my best work in only one week after lit review is due. Not when I had planned on having longer hence still have to fully finish formulating my argument and cut words dramatically.

So, my uni support worker told me not to worry about it and that she will take care of sorting a new date. I asked for until either Saturday the 20th or Monday the 22nd. Guess I will see what happens. She also told me to take the entire day off tomorrow and do absolutely no uni and come back fresh the next day. Yeah, there is absolutely no way that is going to happen given it’s 8:28pm on the 3rd of November.

But I am relaxing tonight lying on my bed with Boss. Netflix paused on the tv while I write this. It’s raining outside which makes me super happy considering how much I love the rain 🌧 🥰