Via messenger.. we aren’t really a talking on the phone kind of family. Sometimes I video call mum in NZ but not a lot. Usually just use messenger..

Anyway, I asked if she was at tafe on Thursday and if not what plans she had. I totally forgot in that moment that she is also on holidays like her daughter. My niece starts back on Monday and my sister next Thursday. But I have told them so many times that my unit results are released that evening and I didn’t want to be alone. I did honestly think we had plans for Thursday and that lunch tomorrow was just extra time with mum. I guess I was wrong.

Turns out my family have planned another family day trip away, without inviting me. I know they will say.. there’s not enough room in the ute with mum here, but to me it’s seems rather simple, we just take two cars. It’s worth spending the day with family. But instead I’m overlooked each and every single time. In all the times my mum has visited Australia, only once has she spent a night with me. I don’t know about other people but stuff like this, it gets to me. Why am I so easily forgotten?

Feel like that’s a question I’ve been asking myself for years. My entire life actually. Thankfully I have great friends in my life now, but with everyone busy with their own lives we don’t see each other as much as we’d like. But hopefully my friend is still free on Thursday night for a drink. I’ve messaged her so just waiting for a reply.

If for whatever reason I do spend Thursday night alone and receive a really bad grade I am going to remind myself that anyone could have suffered a panic attack. That I know the few weeks leading up to the exam were intense with so many things going on. But I know I did my best and that’s what I know I need to focus on come Thursday night. Anyway, who knows, my friend still might make it ♡