This peaceful feeling of ‘everything is ok’ has now been with me the past few days.

Yesterday I was far too exhausted to work on my philosophy essay once home from work. So instead I had a lovely afternoon resting and chilling out with Boss.

Then I realised that I could watch the Friends Reunion if I reactived Binge so I did this and went and lay on my bed to watch it. My smart TV in my lounge is apparently too old for the Binge App so I use any anycast in my bedroom from laptop to (nonsmart) TV.

It was sooo good!! I absolutely loved the reunion! Will definitely be watching it again before I close my Binge account again.

Today I ended up sleeping in until 1pm. I obviously needed it so it’s ok. And it’s this feeling and the feeling that has stayed with me from my dream with Mr X, that has me feeling so peaceful and calm.

In the past I would have definitely beaten myself up for ‘wasting a day’. But I haven’t wasted anything. My body needed to rest and so that’s what I did.

It is now 2:13 pm on Sunday the 30th May 21 and I am still in my pjs and dressing gown. Got the ducted heating on as it was 15 degrees when I got up.

I know that everything for uni will get done. My essay will be written to the best of my ability and submitted in time. And I will study and do the best I can on my biological psychology exam which is at 1pm on the 15th June.

This feeling is really so nice. I have already decided that I am going to spend the rest of my Sunday resting and relaxing so that tomorrow I can go back to getting up early and getting stuff done.

But really this post is about how nice it is to finally be able to let go of feeling so guilty for not doing enough. Because I am. I am doing more than enough and I am so damn proud of myself! I feel good. I feel absolutely no guilt or bad feelings for sleeping in and not working on my essay for the past two days.

The past has shown me that everything really does work out OK, even during those times when I feel like I want to disappear from this world. So I am choosing to be in the now, accept these lovely feelings for what they are, and focus on knowing that I am doing more than enough.

I am a good person who cares for others and who is finally learning how to treat myself how I treat others. Because my inner voice has always been so mean to me, yet now things are definitely changing within me. All the things I have been through recently that I perceived as “bad” have all been part of a bigger lesson to help me learn and grow and continue to evolve.

I am thankful and grateful to the Universe and plan of tuning into these good feelings more and more, especially if or when I think things are “going wrong”.

Considering I believe we live in a Compatibilist Universe, nothing is ever actually “wrong” since the universe is basically determined, and our level of “free will” is seriously limited, therefore meaning everything really does have for a reason, or as the tattoo on my arm say.. “Everything happens for the sake of your Higher Self”.