And I am so exhausted I didn’t even have enough energy to actually make something for dinner from the fresh food I did buy.

It’s actually days like today when I need the instant meals the most, because the level of exhaustion I am at actually makes doing anything extremely difficult. Including typing this story 😅

Tomorrow is my last class of philosophy for the year. It is also the last in class assessment we have. I am not prepared for it in any way. I tried reading through the slides earlier but I couldn’t get to the end of the page without my eyes starting to close..

And the most ironic part of all, is that I slept until 12:30pm today. Yet just doing the grocery shopping, combined with the after effects of going to the gym recently, has left me with so much fatigue and pain, that I can’t really do anything else now, which is why I am now lying on my bed, having just finished my very delicious vegan dinner.

But I have finally realised something today that I have known for ages, but been unable to feel. And that is that I cannot compare myself to able bodied people. Because I am not one. I deal with so much every single day. I live with multiple mental illnesses, a personality disorder (borderline), and in so much pain and fatigue due to how broken my “3D body suit” is.

Thankfully, most of the time I am able to remind myself that my Soul chose for all this to be going on, since it’s all part of my Higher Self’s lessons for ascension on my spiritual path.

So finally being able to tell myself that I am not a lazy person, who deserves to be constantly beating myself up for always failing, feels nice. Because I’m not failing. I am doing the very best I truly can and that’s all I can ask of myself.

I may not be prepared for my last in class assessment tomorrow, but at least I am not trying to force myself to read all night when I know I won’t take any of it in. Especially since the quiz is literally worth 2%.

Not feeling guilty for putting myself first feels so good! 😁