I honestly can’t believe it. I’m going in waves of how I feel given everything that has happened..

I don’t have it in me to share what actually happened yet but I feel like I need to write something. Like I’m going in waves of feeling calm and then like the stupidest person ever.

I just keep crying. All this because I trusted the wrong person. I vaguely feel like maybe I’ve blogged about this mess since it started without going into specifics.

Yesterday I was formally suspended from my job with a disciplinary meeting to be held on Tuesday.

Losing my job is one thing, I am more concerned that this could potentially ruin everything I have worked so hard for. I have chosen to stay in bed today because I just need to process everything that has happened.

One stupid mistake trying to help someone may just have cost me absolutely everything.

Only thing I’ve holding onto right now is that at least I tried. I wanted to make a difference in this world. To help others and help myself, but if it’s not meant to be then it won’t be. At least I am still on the disability pension so I have that to be grateful for.

It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m lying in bed about to go back to watching Netflix. At least Boss is giving me cuddles now, since he wouldn’t before when I was crying 😥