I finally made a proper video..as in sitting down, phone on stand, in landscape mode. 11:13 minutes.

In the video I mention that I once made daily videos for a year. I did this because I wanted to tell stories. My stories. Exactly like I do with this blog website.

I made my first video on the 29th September 2017. A trial video you might say.

Then on the 1st of October 2017 I decided to start making videos every day. I had no timeline or anything in mind duration wise. I just wanted to understand me. At this point in time I was nearing the end of my first full-time year at university and was still really hung up on what I thought I needed to do, to get me to where I wanted to be.

This being the end goal, which has always been to become a ‘storyteller’ (public speaker) and tell stories from stages in front of thousands. Every time I think about this thought I have the same reaction.. I reckon it would be fun. Exhilarating and nerve racking, exciting and fun.

So anyway, I started making videos. Always at the time, with the intention of releasing them. It was through making these daily videos that I became aware of just how much weed I was smoking and how it was affecting me the following days when I wanted to study.

I’m suddenly having a de ja vu like oh fuck, I think some of the lessons I’ve already learnt but clearly forgotten are coming up for me now.

So by December 2017 I decided I wanted to try something new and test a theory. At first I wanted to make myself vow to only smoke weed on uni holidays. Then I thought only on the weekends.

But I soon realised if I was going to learn anything worthwhile I might have to make it a substantial length of time.

I ended up deciding to stop smoking weed for a year. Starting the 1st of January 2018.

But I then realised that I literally tell everyone that the only reason I barely ever get hangovers when I drink is because I smoke weed. I realised very quickly that deciding to go a year without weed would go straight out the window as soon as I had a drink. Same with cigarettes at the time. I had quit cigarettes right before I quit ice but I would still have an occasional cigarette while drinking and smoking weed.

I know me pretty well haha.. I knew I was not going to achieve shit unless I decided to just quit absolutely everything cold turkey at once.

So, I challenged myself to a completely sober, no drugs, no weed, no cigarettes etc for a full year. 365 days. Once I decided to do this, I did what I’m well known for and shared it to my instagram. This has however been closed down for over a year now. 

I had been making daily videos for 3 months by this point and some days had multiple videos. [They are all organised perfectly by date and time and saved to a hard drive in my safe and the cloud].

Anyway, I did complete the sober year. I will write another story about that.

But at exactly a year on the 1st October, I decided to stop making videos due to severe overthinking at this point, knowing no one was ever really going to see them. This was proved months later when I did hire someone to edit all the names out because a lot of my videos involved my friends from uni and we all smoked a lot of weed. My friends were very clear they did not want their names on the videos. Hence I go by Libby and all names otherwise stated are obviously fake. That’s stated on my home page. In the end it was far too big of a job, so besides a few people who have asked to see random videos from the very many I have got from the year of daily filming, no one else has seen them. And I’m guessing never will.

Back to today. I made a video. I watched it back. Unfortunately it is only since watching it back that all the lessons I thought I had previously learnt about how to film myself, have come back to me. In the video today, I am on the completely wrong angle. Almost kind of looks like you’re looking up my nose a little bit sometimes 🙄 plus I move way too much. It’s all coming back to me now 🤦‍♀️

Unfortunately I forgot to put DND on before I started recording so right at the end the sound drops out for a few seconds due to a notification coming through. I refer to going to hug Boss, my dog, because he is my best friend.

Thankfully by writing this all out, I feel much better now and my anixety has gone ♡