I always figured it would hit me eventually. I knew I was on the right path, with my undergrad degree in psychology and philosophy but it was only in the past few months that I have fully realised exactly what I want to aim for in terms of my education, and why.

The why is the biggest part of anything we do. The intentions behind our actions are things we need to be mindfully aware of. I knew, that just like this blog was born out of the trust that it would happen when it was meant too happen, was also the trust that I would know when what I am meant to do has settled upon me. Especially since I have had so many different thoughts cross my mind in the past five years that I’ve been at university.

I realised just earlier today, before I started writing this blog, that the reason I have been so happy to just sort of float along doing my degree over however long it takes, is because I hadn’t known what exactly I wanted to do. Now I do. Once I realised it, I had a really good laugh, since it was like, well duh, how could you not end up aiming for this, given how this journey started to begin with..

I love what I study so much. I honestly do. But it can become easy to forget why you started something and start having a negative view about something. For a little while there, I forgot why I went to uni in the first place. It became a chore, something I wished I didn’t have to do. Which I now see is extremely funny, given, I don’t have to do it. I chose to do it, and keep choosing to.

I have known for some time that I definitely wanted to go into research. I absolutely love research. I find it so incredibly fascinating. I also realised that I do want to be able to one day go into therapy, and be able to use whatever it is that I research to help people as a clinical psychologist. It is because of this that I am now aiming for a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. And the best part…

I know what I want to focus my research on! Every time I thing about it, it makes me so happy and excited about it. Psychedelics. That is the area I am going to go into for research. How psychedelics can help people. I mean the Universe gave them to us for a reason, right. Honestly, just thinking about this truly does make me so excited. Like I say to my friends, I knew there was a reason I love taking LSD trips in the form of acid tabs. I believe in the magical powers these substances can have on people.

I already have the details of someone who is starting a research project on the effects of MDMA on people with PTSD, who I have spoken to. He was only in the beginning stages when we talked so said to contact him again in June, which I plan to do.

And just yesterday I saw my own psychologist, who treats me as an equal, not a patient so to speak, told me that she had spoken to someone who may be starting a research project on the effects of psychedelics as treatment for people with severe depression. She immediately told him about me and recommended me to be able to intern or something so that I could be apart of it. I was really happy to hear that she was recommending me to her colleagues as someone she believed is capable of being part of a research team.

Actually she also suggested I start tutoring year one and two psychology students since I am a third year student and have received really good grades so far in my psychology subjects. She told me that she did it when she was third year and she was only like 20 years old. She is only a few years older than me. She is constantly telling me how good she believes I will be at being a psychologist and now she thinks I should tutor other students as it will help me as much as it helps them.

Considering the fact that I have fired my tutor, since receiving my first assignment grade back and learning that my “tutor” was really just charging me a fortune, without really knowing what he was doing, I at least know what not to do. He charged me $70 to go over material that was meant to help me, and then advised which I had right and which I had wrong, without actually having a clue. He advised that many questions were correct when in fact they were not. If you don’t know, don’t charge for it. I think that is fairly simple. But I haven’t decided if I want to do it or not yet. My psychologist did say I can pick and choose my own clients, charge my own fees, and that it would look fantastic on my honours application. Definiely something to think about.

Anyway… the acid tab I took earlier is starting to kick in, so I’m going to go and enjoy it…