I have stories going around in my head constantly. And when there aren’t stories in my mind, I am thinking about massive worldly things like why are we here, what is the point to life, how can we make our lives better, free will vs determinism and many other things like this.

I guess because so many of my stories are about my past which does not show me in a great light, I just keep avoiding writing them, which makes no sense as this is the entire point of this blog. I know writing things out can be very therapeutic and I for one always feel so much better when I’ve shared what is going on for me.

Perhaps what is holding me back, is that I am much better at telling stories in person. I do have a wonderful ability to tell stories that are completely factual, since I hate lying in every sense of the word, yet I always make people laugh and usually have the ability to get the audience to take away something from what I have said and learn something.

Learning from mistakes is what we as humans do. Though so many are happy and content to live their lives not giving a shit about anyone other themselves. I know I’m not the only one who thinks like this.

Today I am in a mood. Not necessarily a bad mood or a good mood, just a mood. Yesterday shit happened with work again because once again I stuck up for my client which resulted in me basically being reprimanded and told I need to work as part of a team. This is hard when I honestly do not feel like my client is being listened to. But I don’t like being told I am not part of the team of support just because I disagree with how the client is being treated. So from now on I will just keep my mouth shut and do whatever I can to ensure my client is living their best live as best as I can.

Today I am at work with my other client. He is in the shower so I’m writing this to get how I’m feeling off my chest so that I can be the best damn support worker I can be, because it is my job to help my clients live their best life. I just have to ensure that by doing this, I am not causing myself undue stress and upset.

I spoke to my boss, as in the director of the company yesterday, and he told me in no uncertain terms that I am to leave work at work and not take it home with me from the sake of my own mental health. Sure, I will definitely try this, but it’s much easier said than done when my client calls my highly distressed and crying on my days off. And I am not the kind of person who would ever risk ignoring someone in their time of need since this can cause things to go really wrong really fast.

Anyway, once again I have proven to myself what I already know. I need to write here everyday for the sake of my own mental health. I know everyone is different and I can’t really explain this, but for so long now, years in fact, I have known that I will be able to help myself become a better person, and heal my past, through sharing my stories. Right now, it doesn’t even matter to me who reads them, if anyone does, because while I am writing my stories from the past to catch me up to where I am, this is purely for me. But if what I say helps you, the reader, in anyway, I am extremely happy.