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Day 948: 3rd August 2024 | Part 2 | I need a door 🚪😅
I have had an interesting, emotionally draining day. I am still very much reacting to everything in a low vibrational, negative, sad, and highly anxious way. Which brings on panic attacks and crying. I just keep getting hit with more news. Like the room that is free for me to use doesn’t have a door.
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I can’t tell if I’m genuinely sad or just so physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted it’s making me sad 😔
Thank goodness for Boss. He truly is my guardian angel 😇 I found out on Thursday the doctors letter I sent to the disability service at university was never passed on to the person it was intended for as it “inappropriate”. As soon as I found out I emailed both my doctor and psychologist immediately.
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I feel like I have become so easy to dismiss that no one would even know if I disappeared…
I could dead for a week or probably more like two before anyone would actually come to check on me. Today’s meeting with skills people did not go well at all today. Never felt more stupid in front of someone before. Had tears spilling from my eyes by halfway through. We didn’t get through barely
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Slept through my alarms.. woke at 130pm to worried messages from my tattooist since I was supposed to be there at 11am..
Thankfully she said it worked out well as her own pain and exhaustion levels are high today too. So we have rescheduled for Monday. Worked my ass off to get that stupid assignment in on time last night. Which I did with 3 minutes to spare and over word count. I feel like a shell
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I can’t do it. I must sleep. It’s 333 am Monday morning 😫😴
I’m going to set alarm for couple of hours because I am genuinely concerned that I could completely crash given how far past my limit I have pushed myself to try and get this damn assignment completed in the time frame given to the best of my ability.. Ah well. I can only do what
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The sooner I can get my breathing under control the sooner I can get back to working on this damn literature review 😞🥺
It’s 6:18pm Sunday night. This morning I was calm. Now I am not and haven’t been for a number of hours. Just reminding myself to breathe. Just breathe. Focusing on the fact I am doing the best I can given the overwhelming pressure I have felt all week. If I had been left to submit
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I reckon I could be perfectly content just hugging my baby Boss all day long 🥰🐕
I am feeling really good. Not letting what happened on Monday with uni get to me. I really need to stop taking stuff so personally but as a highly sensitive person this can be hard. But I spent yesterday reminding myself that I am a smart, capable woman who can do anything I set my
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Finally I’m getting a decent pain medication to help my pain!
Vaping weed is great and all but I still need to be able to focus on what I am studying, which is harder to do yhe more you vape. Thankfully, I now have a pain specialist who is willing to write a permit for my doctor (gp) to prescribe me the pain meds I actually
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Life's A Story 