Today is day five. I gave myself this little experiment on Sunday the 5th of March 2023, while writing a blog, in which I mused over the fact that until I spoke about it with my therapist and watched the psychology session video back, I hadn’t realised how long it had been since I had had fun with myself and relieved myself of some of the tension Ive had due, mostly to university, and of course, being triggered about particular things more easily.

I am extremely open about how I feel about sex. There are many reasons why I was addicted to getting it as often as possible when I was younger.

I have so many stories to tell, and yet I don’t have the energy or brain power to get them all out when I want to tell them. I am well aware of what happens when I tell a story wrong. And as any of you who follow my daily videos would know, due to my many different conflicted shattered pieces of myself, it is far easier, than even I knew to tell a story wrong as I watched in complete shock my last psychology appointment back. Filming them is truly a game changer; I promise you all that. I highly recommend it. Obviously, you don’t have to share anything you film with anyone else ☺️

Anyway, back to the here and now, my challenge to myself is going extremely well!! 😁😝🥳🤣

Last night I was worried for a few minutes, given how tired I was and how little energy I had. I had two toys next to me when I made my video last night, and just like I said in my video, as soon as I uploaded the video, I did exactly what I said I would.

There was, however, a moment when I had another mini conversation with myself inside my head, that went along the lines of something like this…

Me “Do you really want to do this? Why do you always challenge me to shit? I’m tired. I want to go to sleep. …. there’s more, but I’ll explain in my video (hopefully t😆o be honest, it’s almost like a dream. I can see it and almost hear what exactly was said, but not enough to get it out here 🤪) …”

Also, me “because you are so good at saying you will do something, and then you don’t. Your life would be completely different if you just implemented what you know you need to do. It’s been years since you last had sex. Sex was a release of so many emotions. Who knows if we’ll ever have actual in-person 3D sex ever again??? I definitely don’t 😂 but you have all the toys you do for a reason. Without the challenge you’d roll over and go to sleep without even trying. It’s day three, are you seriously going to admit defeat on day three of an orgasm challenge?? Seriously???”

Typing it out makes it seem like it was a much longer exchange between me and myself* than it actually was 😅🤣

*I initially tried writing myselves, than myself’s, but neither was correct, so I turned to Google and then went down another rabbit hole … oh how I love the Universe and everything in it when I’m standing in the light instead of fighting to stay out of the darkness ✨️

It is now 8:25 pm. I have no idea what time I started writing this post 😅😂

Once I got out of my head last night and into my body allowed myself to let go completely… I opened myself up to connect to the higher consciousness and in doing so, heard exactly what I needed to…

Believe me, I am over the moon I set myself this challenge 😌

When I set myself challenges, something switches over in my mind, and no amount of bullshit that one part of me tells the rest of me can override my succeeding in what I’ve set out to 😜😘

Four and of the past four days of the challenge have all been absolutely fantastic 😝🤗🥳

I made it for one week to see what happened. At the rate I’m going, come Saturday, I may increase it to longer 🫣😛

Thursday, 9th of March 2023. Day five 🤭

8:32 pm