The Universe is talking to me loud and clear ✨️


I keep my phone and vape charger in the bottom of my bedside table when I am not using them. I don’t really use it or the bedside table for anything other than the storage of certain things.

In the bottom draw with the charges are my DVD copies of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, my large knife and um.. I shall check ..

Oh, of course, treats for Boss since I sometimes have to bribe him to come up to me for cuddles 🤨

My very first copy ever. Age 10. Just had my appendix removed and was feeling so miserable, Mum got me my very own copy. I think I watched it every single week for my entire childhood. I decorated my room fill with Frank N. Furter’s teachings and sayings. I held onto his “don’t dream it be it” motto. He helped me feel like less of a freak. I remember when I first moved to Australia, I used to call it my safety blanket, so to speak. This I remember saying verbatim, I have actual withdrawals from not watching the movie at least once a week, even though by this point I was 18 and knew the movie by heart. I can still, very easily, at age 37, shut my eyes and watch it play out in front of me in my mind.

Just yesterday on my way home from the dentist I listened to the soundtrack on Spotify through my new wireless speaker and realised that I hadn’t actually watched the movie in its entirety in some time and that upon realising that, I wanted to.

I have a cheap DVD player for basically this is the exact reason. That and the 4th season of the Cougar Town DVD that I have. It’s so cheap, that if you pause whatever you are watching, you only have a very short time frame to get back to turn it on before it automatically goes back to the start again. I have learnt to make a note of the time when pausing since sometimes even just using the bathroom and grabbing a snack can make it restart. I have no idea why or if there’s a way to change this, but I’ve been dealing with it for so long and only really watch these two dvds, it’s not a big deal

It doesn’t surprise me that there is already one disk one in the DVD player, though I’m not sure how long it’s been, because I went to check the power cord was plugged in, but discovered that the actual DVD cord isn’t. There is literally no way for me to plug them in by myself without dropping the tv.

Thankfully, after double-checking with a mirror, I was smart enough to not even try.

I have five different sized USB sticks that I have needed to sort out for ages since I can’t remember what’s on any of them, except that one of them has the Rocky Horror Picture Show movie on it. Well, I’m praying it’s one of these. I remember taking it to a Storytelling Workshop meeting last year so that my boss could transfer it to his laptop as he had never seen it. I doubt he has yet, nor probably ever will.

Anyway, as we know, storage and backing stuff up is something I have to learn. I can no longer rely on anyone other than me to help me. Everyone needs to help themselves. If I want to get better, and I do, believe me, days like today prove to me again and again just how much I do truly want to get better, I have to figure out a way to stay grounded, and breathe deeply, which will help every other aspect of my life. I also need to learn how to calm and rationally explain to others that unlike I am constantly told, (and I’m beyond fucking sick of it. People who judge when they have no real clue what they are talking about, or don’t stop when asked because they need to push their agenda) I actually am perfectly capable of having a debate on topics with people who hold different views from me.

It’s no wonder I’m so fucking slow at everything these days. I truly feel like I’m living in a completely different universe to the majority of people these days. Nonenof what is “normal” makes any fucking sense.

Yes, fuck is a word I dare say will be used a lot today. I think it adds emphasis to my points.

Today I was messaged and told not to let a silly debate ruin my day. That I’m better than that. That we are all entitled to our own opinions. I obviously agree with this. What I don’t agree with, however, is being told “it was just a debate” when I have absolutely no fucking interest in debating particular topics ever. I’m simply not interested in wasting my time, effort, energy or breath. Trump is right up there amongst the top of that list. If you are a fan of Trump for whatever reason you deem fit, that’s on you, but I can almost guarantee that you aren’t going to like most of what I have to say.

Since I don’t agree with so much of society’s bullshit, I can obviously talk to other people who disagree with me. Almost everyone does!!! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh

😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

The more I understand what I can’t explain, the more I want to run away and never speak to another person again..

There are so many important issues that need to be discussed, changed, and handled better, but listening to someone telling me all the research they had done and that it’s a fact that Trump has done more for America than any other president has and that it’s because I don’t fully understand politics (true, but I’m not an idiot either) is why I don’t understand.

Anyway, I have put the first usb stick in and it just has this random MiniDLNA Status page on it and I have no idea what it’s for or about so I’ve just printed it in case it’s something important 🤷‍♀️

I have no energy left, to do anything of importance today. Crying a lot can do that to a person..

I’m going to check the rest of these usbs out and if none have the movie, I’ll just watch something on Netflix.

And try to figure out how to transfer video from the camera to the laptop since I would really like to start using it regularly moving forward. I have everything I need next to me, and it’s taken me long enough.

Plus, I still have to try and get ahold of my friend to find out about tomorrow and if she needs me to work or not, because I’ve remembered while writing this that I need to get my uni IT to look at my computer because something just isn’t right. That much I know, I just don’t know what. I really should at least fill out the application for the possibility of receiving a laptop from the university. I was told by several staff members it was worth applying.

The reason I started this post, to come full circle, is that when I was taking the chargers out of the bottom draw of my bedside table, something fell out of the draw with them…


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