I have been using Friends as background noise in my life for so long now I can’t help but be amused by the fact that none of these people would be friends in real life πŸ˜„

Well not according to what makes sense to me, but since I’m usually the one who sees most things differently, how am I to really know πŸ€”

My point is more about the fact that everything and everyone is so superficial.

But then again, most of real life is. That’s why I pay for my website and speak out into the void that is the internet. I don’t tag posts. I don’t share posts. Hell, most of the time I don’t even read over written posts and I definitely don’t view any of my daily videos before sharing.

At first, I really couldn’t understand why I kept being advised by others not to share the sites with others. This in itself is strange because I had always known that I would somehow end up making daily videos and blogs, I just didn’t know when or how exactly. These are the things that I don’t give much thought to in life because like I keep saying, I’m not even sure if I keep saying it for your sake or mine but lately, I am seeing the word ice everywhere. I have no interest in ever doing it again but I think maybe I’m being reminded of how and where and why I started this journey. I may have no interest in ever having anything to do with it again, but I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t cross my mind every once in and while about where and who I would be if I hadn’t. Of course, I think about it.

Days like today make me question just how much I truly care about others and everything at large, because, what I don’t think people realise, whether here, online friends or even really the people I know in person I’m starting to realise, is that I do everything I do because of how much I care. Because I actually can see in my mind’s eye a world that is so different to this. A world in which people are happy. Where everyone across the globe is equal. And I mean truly equal. Where the only sadness, loss and grief a person feels is due to acts of nature such as dying. We all die and yet it’s considered the biggest fear on the planet. How does that help us? Help you?? I’m not afraid of death. On days like today I long for it. I would give anything to return home and leave my 3D human self behind. No one would miss me. These posts are the only real evidence that I am here.

And so I keep asking myself, do I still care enough to keep pushing through even with everything going against me, or do I finish this degree and believe me, if nothing else, I will finish it with only two units to go, but do I keep bothering once I’m done, or move to the middle of nowhere, get rid of all devices I don’t need and completely check out of this world in 3D reality and smoke weed until I die.

I know I won’t live to see any of the changes this world truly needs but I do believe I can help start the momentum. But only if I care. I guess I care enough to finish this degree so that’s enough for now.

Oh and I have finally transferred the video from my camera to my computer and the sound is fine.

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