Day 425: 27th February 2023 | I’m finally at home ๐Ÿฅฐ

I ended up in the supermarket for far longer than I wanted to be. I had called to ask the ingredients of the creamy mushroom pasta my friend made and we ended up talking half an hour. In the end, I was too overwhelmed and just needed to leave to get home ๐Ÿ 

It’s 1:17 pm now. Aside from what actually needed to go in the fridge, everything else is still on the table, which is where it’s going to stay for a while. I’m in my room with Boss and have just seen a movie trailer on Netflix so I’m going to watch that and relax ๐Ÿ˜Œ

My pain and exhaustion levels are really high but I didn’t have my strong meds with me, so, too, Nurofen and am hoping that with my vape is enough ๐Ÿ˜…

I have a jam packed week and still have to somehow fit I’m uni since it week 0 starts today. It’s best to try and be a week ahead with the weekly learning objectives instead of falling behind like I usually do ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Actually now that I’m thinking about it, I’m hoping I see Andrew sometime this week. Feels like it’s been forever, yet it was only last Tuesday I saw him ๐Ÿ˜Š

Update: 1:56 pm | So far I’ve seen approximately 4 minutes of the movie. I decided to email the tutoring / ADHD coaching company I’ve been using to ask if the person who writes the ADHD blog does coaching also, for hopefully a cheaper rate.

The disconnect I feel in my mind, since being made aware of the fact that I have ADHD and Dyslexia, is fucking with me in a way that no other diagnoses ever have. It’s driving me insane! I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. I feel light, happy, Divinely looked after, safe and secure and have everything I’ve ever wanted or needed. I’m managing my pain levels better without ridiculously strong addictive pain medication, plus I know I have awesome friends, regardless of how often I see them in person.

But as soon as I’m alone, it’s like my mind shuts down. I am doing what I can to not let this beat me, and am starting to wonder if I might check out this trimesters unit after putting my groceries away. I haven’t even vaped. I had put my electric blanket on this morning while talking on the phone before tennis and the heat has helped how I’m feeling which is great. So, who knows, maybe my psychologist can teach me some new coping techniques for when I feel trapped in my mind. Typing this is helping also, besides the pain in my arm and hand ๐Ÿ˜ณ

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